While most grandparents adore their grandkids unconditionally, it’s possible for their words or actions to inadvertently have a negative impact. Even well-meaning statements can be interpreted as dismissive, condescending, or critical. Therefore, it’s crucial for grandparents to be mindful and consider the potential effects of what they say or do in front of their grandchildren.
Keep reading to discover 12 things that should be avoided when speaking to your grandkids.
Where Did You Go Last Weekend?
Inquiring about your grandchildren’s weekend whereabouts might stem from genuine curiosity, but it could be perceived differently by them. They might feel hesitant to answer truthfully or begin avoiding the question altogether. It’s important to recognize that such inquiries can encroach on their privacy; even if they’re not yet adults, they still have a right to privacy.
You Are My Favorite
Declaring a favorite among grandchildren is an absolute taboo. Grandparents should never engage in favoritism, regardless of intent or the desire to boost a grandchild’s self-esteem. Such statements should be avoided at all costs. Children share information with each other, and if other grandchildren become aware of it, they may feel hurt and hesitant to trust your words in the future.
“You Spend Too Much Time On Your Phone”
While setting boundaries on screen time is reasonable, constant criticism can alienate grandchildren. Instead, address concerns with their parents and promote healthy technology habits through constructive dialogue.
“What Do Your Parents Say About Me?”
While it’s understandable to wonder about your children’s perspective, avoid putting your grandchildren in the middle. Such inquiries can create tension between loyalties and lead to discomfort for the grandchildren.
“You Know What Your Mom/Dad Did When They Were Young”
Sharing stories about your children’s past without their consent can strain family dynamics and undermine parental authority. Obtain permission before sharing personal anecdotes and involve parents in the conversation if necessary.
“Did You Get Good Grades This Year?”
Instead of focusing solely on grades, show genuine interest in their overall academic experience and extracurricular activities. This approach fosters open communication and encourages them to share without fear of judgment.
“You Are So Skinny/Chubby”
Comments on weight can inadvertently trigger self-consciousness or body image issues. It’s best to avoid such remarks and instead focus on positive aspects unrelated to physical appearance.
“Don’t Tell Your Parents, It’ll Be Our Little Secret”
Encouraging secrecy undermines parental authority and teaches children that deception is acceptable. Respect parental boundaries and avoid putting grandchildren in compromising situations.
“Your Brother/Sister Is So Smart”
Comparisons between siblings can breed resentment and diminish a child’s self-esteem. Acknowledge each grandchild’s unique strengths and accomplishments rather than making comparisons.
“You Are A Lousy Eater/Athlete”
Negative comments about a grandchild’s habits or behavior can be hurtful and counterproductive. Encourage positive reinforcement and constructive dialogue instead of criticism.
“Isn’t This The Shirt I Gifted You Last Christmas?”
\Bringing attention to repeated gifts can make grandchildren feel uncomfortable or scrutinized. Instead, offer compliments or engage in conversation without referencing past gifts.
“Is That Cute Boy Your Boyfriend?”
Respect your grandchild’s privacy, especially regarding romantic interests. Avoid prying questions that may embarrass or intrude upon their personal life.
